Wario says you’re not doing anything wrong. Your personal safety, sense of security, and mental well-being are the most important things for you and should come before activism, period.
^^^^ CAN WE PLEASE JUST ABSORB THAT VERY REAL WISDOM RIGHT THERE
you are allowed to check out if your personal safety is at risk. you are allowed to let shit slide because you don’t have the spoons to deal with it. you are allowed to back off and not educate people if you aren’t able to do it at the time.
and, most importantly, not all activism is talking to people irl or organizing marches or doing political work. sometimes activism is calling out a friend when they say something shitty. sometimes activism is working hard to acknowledge your own privilege and make spaces safer for those without it. sometimes activism is simply EDUCATING yourself, and sharing what you learned with the ether by writing it out on a blog post.
the way i had my “feminist click” (and then, by extension, learned about queer issues, racial issues, issues of disability, poverty, class, colonialism, etc.) was by talking with a friend who linked me blog posts and made me question how i viewed the world. the way that same friend learned was by talking with a friend who also linked her blog posts. i have also influenced people by talking with them (my ex, for instance, was far less aware of social issues and became MORE aware of them through us talking about it!). that in itself is activism and is worthwhile.
activism can be making and distributing zines/posting to a blog. activism can be running a youtube channel that discusses social issues. activism can be choosing to write your fiction about issues like women’s rights, racism, ableism, etc. activism can be volunteering at a local women’s shelter or old folks home and being a listening ear/friend to those in a bad way.
you don’t have to be an activist if you don’t have the spoons, but activism also isn’t just standing up and screaming for your rights. it can be a million things, so the best thing is just to do what you can, and believe that there IS something you can do. that is enough.